Relationships and their tribulations

The connect

A relationship is a connection between two individuals. All relationships thrive on inter-dependence. Some are sturdier than others. Most relationships are long-term bonds, and they often involve emotions. Now, that is where the catch is. Emotions, trust, commitment, attachment, and dependence all form the building blocks of relationships. But sentiments if tampered with, can act as weak links of the interpersonal dyad, which may break the connection if the stress and the associated emotive trauma become agonizing. Connects are precious and yet so hard to sustain. Relationships are ever so delicate, tough to initiate and tougher to maintain.

The social animal

Man is a social being. All human beings need people around them. Thus all have a motivational drive to form loving, long lasting and positive relationships. One who needs that connect, would do what it takes to keep the bond sturdy. Bosses need their employees, spouses love each other, parents adore their children, and nations want world peace. Relationships are quintessential for survival and it only seems normal that one puts in the best to safeguard them.

When grapes turn sour

The hardest efforts, positive emotions, amiable thoughts, and selfless desires often fail; and important relationships get sour. These could be between parents, children, siblings, grandparents, in-laws, couples, partners, lovers, colleagues, friends, bosses and subordinates; any two people who have ever connected with each other at any level. All humans need stability in relationships. If their interpersonal interactions are not satisfying, it leads to sadness, grief, worry, loneliness, and unhappiness. One needs to be comfortable with people around to derive, and offer positivity to the environment.

Understanding the misunderstanding

Relationships get bitter when viewpoints are misunderstood. Best intentions don’t hold substance if they are misheard. There may be a flaw in the participants of the relational dyad, or in the interaction pattern between them. Usually it is a lack in communication or miscommunication. Egos, attitudes, personality styles and personal preferences have a big role to play in building and breaking relationships. Relationships need to be fed, nourished, and nurtured, failing which they suffer and die. Insight into the misjudgments helps cure differences and build profound bonds.

Back to the earlier years

Relationship styles can rightly be linked back to childhood attachment styles that influence adult relationships deeply. Nothing in life is static; it’s all a continual process that is forever changing. This also generates change in expectations between people and leads to stress. Parents expect children to obey, husbands expect wives to understand, children expect acceptance and partners expect unconditional love; bosses expect employees to work over time while employees expect higher bonuses! Expectations just seem to never match.

The mending process

At MINDFRAMES we understand relationship dynamics and use the awareness to improve and build relationship strengths and overcome weaknesses. Improving an interpersonal problem entails bettering communication between individuals. Behavior modification in a toddler, change in lifestyle of a deviant adolescent, acceptance and understanding between couples, or meditation and relaxation exercise for an agitated businessman; change is always needed and comfort zones have to be crossed. Environmental alteration can help ease off anxiety and improves communication between the dyad, which also works positively for the relationship. Only then can the connection survive and thrive. We need relationships. Likewise we need to do what it takes to care for them and mend them when they’re scarred.

Relationship tips

Little understanding, little bit of acceptance and little patience always helps relationships.

  • Be well prepared to listen
  • Let go of that big fat ego
  • Be involved with the person
  • Be present if you really are
  • Do not interrupt the person
  • Maintain respect for the other
  • Hold back anger and spite
  • Decide to ‘not’ be rude today
  • Look at different points of view
  • Accept other’s limitations
  • Accept your own limitations
  • See the brighter side of things
  • Learn to forgive and forget
  • Do not fight: it’s not a game

Frequently Asked Questions

Why should I always be the one to give in? I refuse to change!
Relationships are not about who gives in. They are about the level of understanding between two people who must respect the relationship and want it to work. Understanding; not giving in, is important.

Frequently Asked Questions

How can a third person help improve my relationship with someone?
Correct, you are the best person to sort out your relationships; however an expert can give you suggestions to improve on your listening and communication skills which can improve interpersonal interaction.

Frequently Asked Questions

My teenager is unreasonable, how do I deal with him?
May it be a toddler, teenager or middle aged; dealing with anyone is about understanding them and sharing your points of view. Be frank and receptive with him. Try to encourage positive and fruitful communication to ease things out.