Dual Sex Therapy (DST)
Sexuality and existence
Sexuality is an important component of existence, a basic human need and a non-trivial factor in assuring holistic wellness. Passion drives humans. Understanding sexuality, its mandates, requisites and preferences is essential to attain fulfilling sexual experiences. Sexuality isn’t a taboo as once was deemed. It is a matter of deliberate prudence in choices. A blend of the appropriate desire to please and the incessant will to satisfy; over and above the wish to experience pleasure, drives the sensual soul. Sex therapy is aimed at increasing personal and interpersonal awareness of self as well as the other’s needs. Each participant is encouraged to focus on the sensual experience rather than physical satisfaction as the sole goal of a sexual encounter. This enriches the self and the relationship.
Principles of therapy
While sexuality and sensuality are natural and instinctive, there are rules and guidelines to mend connects that have been tarnished. Sex therapy is a form of behavior modification. Impaired sexual satisfaction stems from perceived inadequacies, emotional distractions and deep-rooted anxieties. These imprint on a vulnerable mind and cause fears to become conditioned. This implies that impaired sexuality is learned, practiced and reinforced; and to correct it these faulty styles have to be unlearned, diverted away from and the appropriate techniques need to be relearned. A willingness to identify the deep seated trouble, accept it and take deliberate steps is the premise of sex therapies.
Process of therapy
This process is known as ‘dual’ as both partners come forward for inducing self-change. The process involves individual sessions with each partner with a detailed assessment of personal viewpoints. Subsequently the therapist delves into the real or perceived inadequacies in both. All discussion is confidential even though sessions are alternated between the couple. Through this exercise the therapist identifies the turmoil and its perceived cause and impact on the sexual experience on the couple. Techniques targeted at diminishing expectations and augmenting pleasure for the other are provided. Fulfilling sexual experiences are considered to be an extension of love, thus the non-physical attraction component is stressed upon in great detail.
- Cognitive therapy: This entails cognitive reappraisals of the relationship and what role each of the partners has to play in the relationship dyad to keep each other happy
- Behavior therapy: This involves the assessment and conscious management of negative emotional experiences that have been clubbed with sexuality influencing it negatively
- Rationally emotive therapy (REBT): This helps to sort differences in the partners’ emotions and make them more accepting of each others’ traits and sexual preferences
- Transactional analysis: This allows gauging the ego states in each of the partners and matching the strokes they give one another to attain better outcomes.
- Sensate focus: This is a technique that allows the partners to focus on their sensory perceptive modalities and ‘feel their partners without having intercourse.
- Sex therapy: This involves the hands on tips and techniques for bettering the sexual encounter using sensate focus and learning newer interesting techniques.
Inhibit inhibitions: Seek help
Denial of a problem is the single most largest hindrance in the path of self-growth. Years may pass before one accepts that sexual inadequacy can be instrumental in disruption of relationships, reduction of emotional intimacy as well as general frustration and irritability. Help can only benefit. Never hesitate to reach out to a helping hand when needed. Like all basic needs, unless this one is fulfilled, we cannot attain greater and more desirable heights. While this session is termed as a group session, it is essentially a dyad or a session with the 2 partners and both are active members who through this engagement attain their sexual goals by assisting each other with the help of the therapist.